


One of the Hardest Things

by bahlovkarizma



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:04:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bahlovkarizma/pseuds/bahlovkarizma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose dealing with being left behind by the Doctor with his clone and how it's hard for her to accept him, at first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of the Hardest Things

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea that popped into my head.

It's hard, one of the hardest things she's ever had to do, her head understands that he is The Doctor in body and mind, but her heart says otherwise. She sees the pain in his eyes when she pulls away, he obviously remembers holding her for hours as they slept on the TARDIS but now they sleep separately. She can't explain to him that she had come accustomed to falling asleep to two heartbeats instead of one, and now one is disconcerting. After she had been separated from the Doctor, she had been plagued with insomnia because she missed the sound and had eventually bought two 'sound machines' with a heartbeat and played both at night. She still didn't sleep well, but it did help, in the end.

His room is just down the hall from hers in her parent's house and she hears him cry out at night as she lays staring at the ceiling, guilt twisting her gut. She remembers the nightmares that the man has, that was what started her sleeping with him in the first place. He dreams about the people he has lost, those he couldn't save, of the family on Galifrey, his wife, children, grandchildren, all gone. He dreams about the companions, what he could have done differently.

It started with the first Doctor she had met, one night after a near-miss, she had been wandering the halls of the great machine and while passing one hallway, she heard a cry. Knowing that she and the Doctor were the only ones on board, she raced to him. Opening the door, she found him sitting up in bed, panting, his eyes wide and sweat on his brow. When she approached him, he didn't say anything, he just pulled her to him, her legs braced against the side of the bed as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his head against her stomach. She stayed there for a long time, just holding him, not saying anything and eventually he let go. He didn't say anything, just moved back on the bed and pulled her down next to him. She went willingly, allowed him to wrap her in his arms and laid her head on his chest and listened to him fall asleep. She didn't go every night, not until the new Doctor had arrived, but after any time that they are in danger, especially when she is in danger, she is pulled into his room by the hand. It never turns sexual, not until just before she was separated from him on that horrible day, but it's comfortable and she never slept better.

“Do you love him sweetheart?” her mother asked one morning after he left with her dad for the office and all she can do is shrug.

One night she goes down stairs to get a drink in the middle of the night, having to pass his room, she hurries past, hoping that the nightmares stay at bay. On her way back, as she passes his room, she hears him call out and her feet stop. She closes her eyes and rests her head on the door for a moment before turning to go on when she hears her name. It's said with such heartache and pain that she is in the room before she knows what she is doing.

There is moonlight streaming through the large windows, bathing him in light, the blankets are twisted around his feet, his body is covered in a light sheen of sweat and he is muttering in a low tone, his back to her. She hears her name again and moves to him, reaching out a hand, she lays it gently on his shoulder and he instantly stills, calming under her touch. Making a split second decision, she gently pulls the blankets from around his legs and then climbs in next to him. Immediately, he turns and wraps himself around her, his head on her shoulder, his arm wrapping around her waist, his leg thrown over one of hers. She had once told him that he was like an octopus in his sleep, he had denied it, but Rose doesn't mind, so she reached up and runs her hand through his hair, and he murmurs gently before settling back into sleep.

Its one of the hardest things she's ever had to do, but that never stopped her before.


End file.
